Sunday, May 07, 2006

My Quest

As I said earlier -- I started a quest, similar to my friend Stacey. Then life got in the way. But really I believe that was God designed, too. Let me explain a little bit. I was enthralled with Stacey's idea and at the point I am in my life I felt some big changes coming about. I wanted to document the changes and feelings etc. Sooooooo, I decided to start an account of my own. Reading hers, I realized she had some goals, fine I need goals too. What am I going to put down, where do I want to go with this, what am I going to write about. See a pattern here I, I, I, . That is right I wasn't letting God in on it. I was directing it. That should have been my first clue something was wrong. Did I listen???? NO. Friday I had a meltdown of sorts trying to get things ready to go, deal with things here. It just wan't happening. Hubby came home and made me take a nap before I left. I am thankful he did. Then, later that night I get online at mom's ( I hate dial-up) and discovered encouragement that my W@H girls had just for me. Wrapped in that love I went on about the day yesterday. After I got home, I was lamenting my housekeeping skills. It really wasn't intended as a step into another pity party. However, the ensuing discussion my husband and I had was rather rough in spots. But it all boiled down to one fact, both of us feel we are 'playing' at life and not living it to it's fullest. We get caught up in going through the motions, trying to plan, appease the world, but not releasing to God everything and living for Him. I never truly understood wanting life more abundantly. I thought I did, but I realize now that I didn't, don't, haven't. I want that, I want to give it all over to God and be released to live His dreams. I don't want to take another step that isn't ordained and in His Will.

So as a result of my weekend, I now have a God ordained focus for my quest. I will document it on my journey. Letting Go and Living for God.


Stacey said...

I can not wait to read what it is!! Praying for you my dear!

BooMama said...

I can't wait to read either. That's so inspiring!