Stolen from Sara

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A real friend opens
your refrigerator and eats all your ice cream.

A simple friend has never seen you cry. A real friend has hair stringy with your snot.

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names. A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book, and calls them Mom and Dad, too.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party. A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean (and helps you find and drink that great bottle of wine).

A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed. A real friend asks you why you took so long to call (and why you didn’t have your cell phone on).

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems. A real friend seeks to help you with your problems (and create more in the process).

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real friend could blackmail you with it (and usually threatens too, quite often).

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument. A real friend calls you after you had a fight (ok, so maybe 11 months after the fight, but hey, a call is a call).