Wednesday, October 18, 2006

15 years old

Today is a weird day for me. A young man whom I have only seen twice in his life, had his 15th birthday today. I have no idea where he is or what he is doing, I can only assume that he is going to school at my alma mater, the same school from which both of his birth parents graduated, his father the same day I did, his mother a year later.

The last time I talked to his father was 13 years ago today, a short but very agonizing conversation.

Why am I bringing this up? I don't really know, I haven't thought of this child in a long time and don't think that I have thought of him on is birthday since 13 years ago.

There is a story behind this.... there always is...isn't there? I dated this child's father 13/14 years ago and 3 or so years before that. Between those two times was his relationship with the child's mother, which obviously produced said child. They were two youngsters, that went too far that one night, afternoon actually, and well .... you know...... Anyway, she was a sophmore, he a junior at the time. No they weren't getting married right then they were too young. That would come after graduation. Together with her parents they worked out the 'perfect' solution. Birth parents would give the child up for adoption after birth and mother's parents would adopt child. He would be raised right there in their home with mom close by and dad just a few doors down. Once they got married, he would be their's once again. Sounded too good to be true. Son was born in October of mom's juinor and dad's senior year. Papers were signed, all was good. Dad graduated and went to the local community college and worked full time to be able to live on his own and support mom and son. Soon however, things started to unravel, In September, just before the child's first birthday mom decided she didn't want anything to do with dad any more and walked out of his life, taking son with her. He had no parental rights, they were signed over in the adoption. Dad was devistated.

Guess who came in to pick up the pieces? Right, me! I was only too glad to be there and pick up. Soon enough it wasn't her he cared about any more. He just missed his son. He wrote long letters to his son often and was going to keep them until he turned 18 and could give them to him. I admired that in him and wanted to help. Our relationship started out only as old friends we had been through a LOT together in high school (totally unrelated to his girlfriend and child both before and during thier relationship). We had several common denominators -- his best friend was a good friend of mine and went to church with me, band, journalism, and Spanish classes.

However, the more time we spento together the more it grew, really surpising both of us. It was he that gave me my first kiss. It was he that listened when my college roommate turned on me. And it was he that I first believed when he told me I was beautiful. However, and most people don't believe this ( I probably would be skeptical too if anybody else told me this), we NEVER slept together.

However, because I was 2 hours away in school, and my parents didn't really approve of the match anyway. He broke up with me in early October, 13 years ago, I called him one time after that (on this night) just to see if he was okay. And havne't talked to him since. I do know he got married ( about 6 months before I did) But that is all I know. And I think all I really care to know.

However, I do wonder what his son knows of him....... I suppose I'll never know the answer to that question......


Lori said...

It's hard not to know the answers to some of those important questions.

Pattie said...

What a poignant entry.

janice said...

Life sure can be hard. How painful for everyone involved.